Relationships develop when two people find similarities in their lives.  They can develop because they share the same hobbies, the same beliefs, or work in the same field.  With more time spent together, the relationship flourishes.

But what happens when someone changes?  

What happens when they no longer have things in common but are polar opposites?  

 Are they doomed to fail?

Unfortunately, many relationships end when the dynamics change significantly.   I’m not just talking about lovers here. I’m referring to friendships as well.  Sometimes the relationship ends because one or both begin to move in different directions.  Their life goals may no longer be in sync, or their beliefs change.  When changes like this occur, jealousy and/or insecurity appear.  In a marriage, one spouse might think the other is going to leave them.  In a friendship, the changes may result in less time spent together.

A solid, long lasting relationship consists of 4 key ingredients:

  1.  Integrity- Have they ever given you reason to doubt your relationship before?
  2. Communication- I just don’t mean talking it out, but just talking in general.
  3. Respect- Respect of the other person.  Respect of their desire to make changes, respect of their opinion even when it doesn’t align with yours.
  4. Acceptance- The willingness to accept the fact that things will change and that you will learn completely new things about the other person in the relationship.  Sometimes, these changes don’t make sense to you and sometimes you won’t agree with them. (See #3)

If you want a relationship to last, these 4 key ingredients are imperative. You might be asking, “But wait, what about Love?”.  Well, Love is what started it all in the first place and must encompass all four.

And if, no matter what you do, the relationship ends, it doesn’t mean it failed.  It simply means its run it’s course and served it’s purpose.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  When you figure out which it is you know exactly what to do”  – Michelle Ventor

Learn how to mend an estranged relationship in my blog post,  the 4 key reasons for estranged sibling relationships & how you can mend them.

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Elle Catalan

Certified Wellness and Nutrition Coach

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