I wanted to write about what I think Love really is, and I’ll admit I’m still trying to figure it out. I always thought Love was gazing into each other’s eyes intensely, not needing to utter a word and still knowing exactly that you loved and were loved. Maybe Love was that flutter deep in your belly when you heard the key in the door and the long embrace that followed, which happened each and every time you came together after spending time apart.
Love was the “just because” necklace he took you by surprise with, as he draped it along your collar bone, wisping your hair to the side to engage the clasp and planting a kiss on the neck, or the gesture of reaching into the moonlit sky and pulling down a star and presenting it to your love.
That’s what I thought Love was.
That’s what Hallmark and the entire entertainment industry want you to believe that Love is, when in fact, that wasn’t love. That was Romance. All this time, I had been experiencing “Romance”.
Webster’s Dictionary defines Romance as an (noun) exciting and usually short relationship between lovers; (verb) to give special attention to (someone) in order to get something that you want from that person.
It’s really unfortunate that when (what we mistakenly thought was) Love has ended, so many, including myself, have felt the relationship must be over.
But, Love is more than that.
Love comes with age. Not necessarily our chronological age, but more so, the age of our relationships. The length of time we’re willing to surround ourselves with another. The amount of times we’re willing to overlook the little things they do that annoy the hell out of us, as well as the amount of times it takes for us to realize we were being too bitchy about it. Love is found in the forgiveness given when your heart has been shattered into a million tiny pieces and somehow, when with your shattered heart you can look into their eyes and find a shattered heart looking back at you. Love is acknowledging when they express how much they care for you in a “foreign language”. Meaning, when they wake up from a sound sleep after a long hard day, to kill a spider that was in the shower with you, or when you find your favorite holey shorts in the trash and a brand new pair in your dresser.
Love itself can be a totally foreign thing to us.
It’s ever evolving. It can be unrecognizable. It’s learning in progress.
As I mentioned earlier, I’m still trying to figure it out. Most of us are. If we’re patient with ourselves and with each other, it’s worth the lesson as long as we’re both willing to become life long students in the subject.
Check out my other blog post, When people change, is that the end of a relationship? and discover the 4 key ingredients to a solid, long lasting relationship.
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